Mom knows I love The Home Depot. On Saturday mornings, they have extra treats for me. I get lots of attention because I am so wonderful. (That’s what my mom says anyway.) Oh, and did I mention their spacious carts? More room for those extra treats! Happy!
So, I have been really studying hard on this co-pilot program. Maybe we get to fly on Labor Day! Now, what to do about my lovely coat shedding on the aircraft interior … any suggestions are welcome!
No, dogs can’t fly planes. I do, however, like to help my mom study for her pilot’s license. She studies a lot, just never takes the tests to actually fly the plane. C’mon, Mom! I want to co-pilot! Surely dogs can co-pilot? Please? Get your pilot’s license!
Happy Memorial Day Weekend, friends! Safe and enjoyable travels!
From Charlee with love
I hate it when you travel and leave me at home. I miss you. That’s why I got in your suitcase. I was expressing my love and devotion. I didn’t mean to shed voluminous amounts of white hair on your expensive black suit just out of the dry cleaners.
And Dad just doesn’t understand when you leave me home with him. (I don’t mean to tattle. But, once when you were gone, he turned me pink when he tried to bathe me after letting me step in wet red paint from the NO PARKING ZONE refresher coat.)
Sorry, but you just don’t understand me like Mom does.
She bathes me in organic hypoallergenic dog shampoo with a hint of lavender scent, treats me with organic salmon and buffalo treats, cooks me organic chicken with red quinoa, wakes up in the middle of the night to take me out to potty, wakes up at 4 a.m. to feed me breakfast, lets me bark at dogs on TV without scolding me, tells me how smart I am when I remind her to brush my teeth every night, lets me nap on her yoga mat, runs to pet me when I whimper, lifts me on and off the sofa, lets me sniff the baby doves and quails, lets me chase the lizards … basically anything and everything I want.
I do like to watch TV with you though, Dad. It’s just that it gets old after six hours of non-stop sports and drama shows. (Mom knows I like the dog shows.)
March 25, 2014 – I just hate being 10 years old. My legs aren’t what they used to be. I lost my footing and fell, hurting my bum front leg. It was more embarrassing than anything because my toenail scratched the hair off the bridge of my nose. I am considering rhinoplasty, but the best plastic surgeon my mom knows is in Manhattan. I don’t think I could get there and back without anyone noticing, especially with my nose bandaged. And does rhinoplasty even repair lost hair on the nose? I wish I could quit staring at it in the mirror.
April 4, 2014 – I find this sign discriminatory on several levels.
April 17, 2014 – Those Farmer’s Insurance commercials are funny. The bear on the motorcycle … still chuckling.
April 24, 2014 – So, I was reading The Wall Street Journal today and saw an article about a cat café in New York. Apparently, cat lovers can go and eat, drink “Cat’achinos” (whatever) and adopt homeless cats at this cafe. I really feel for a homeless animal in New York (even a cat, I suppose). Still, I don’t think I want to go to Manhattan for a rhinoplasty anymore.
Being an expert with the lasso, Pecos Bill tried to rescue Slue-Foot Sue with his rope. Surprisingly, he was unsuccessful and watched while she eventually landed on the moon. With Slue-Foot Sue out of reach, Pecos Bill and Widowmaker were best buddies again. (Little did Pecos Bill know that Widowmaker had stood on the rope, thwarting Pecos Bill’s efforts to recover Slue-Foot Sue.)
So, what do Charlee and this Disney Classic have in common? Well, for Grand Jack’s birthday celebration, Charlee and I met him, Nano, and Mac-too (yes, still a naughty puppy) for a morning of shopping. Translation: my mother and I went shopping while my dad sat in his car, dog sitting both dogs. (Happy birthday, Grand Jack. Love, Nano.)
Anyway, recall that on Charlee’s first encounter with Mac-too, her brown eyes turned green with jealousy. (https://lovemydoghatemyelbows.com/2013/07/13/charlees-green-eyes/) And while Charlee hasn’t really wounded Mac-too (yet), she does not miss an opportunity to snap at him. On Grand Jack’s birthday, however, Charlee had Grand Jack exclusively to herself in the front seat of the car, ignoring Mac-too’s Tazmanian Devilish efforts to get her attention.
As the story goes, Grand Jack decided the puppy needed a walk to burn some excess energy. Charlee, still smarting after months now from Mac-too replacing her as Grand Jack’s best buddy, had zero interest in sharing Grand Jack on a walk with the puppy. So, she remained in the car to enjoy the spa-like tranquility of life “sans Mac-too.”
After a few minutes, Grand Jack and Mac-too returned to the car only to find it locked. Grand Jack peered inside to see Charlee, sitting in the front passenger floor with the car keys under her paw much like Widowmaker standing on Pecos Bill’s rope. But sadly for Charlee, Mac-too did not share the same fate as Slue-Foot Sue.
Instead, two AAA trucks and their Good Samaritan drivers were parked near Grand Jack, witnessed his misfortune, and quickly rescued his imprisoned keys from Charlee. With the car now unlocked, Mac-too jumped into the backseat again, thrilled to be reunited with Charlee. Good-natured Grand Jack, impressed with Charlee’s dog dexterity, gave her a pat on the head. (Yes, I know, rewarding bad behavior.) And, while Charlee coveted the petting from Grand Jack, she sighed heavily as she peered into the backseat at Mac-too. No, the moon simply would not be far enough.
September was memorable (and not in the best way). Forget about the water damage (six walls in a small condo being ripped out and replaced, including my closet), my clothes being piled on the dining room table for over a month, ruined floors and baseboards, the desert dirt (and scorpions) being inside instead of outside, the bathroom renovations and countless trips to Home Depot, Lowe’s and Ace Hardware.
While these took their toll on Charlee, none of this mattered when she heard that her Grand Jack had tripped and fallen on a parking lot while chasing his runaway puppy. (Mind you, this did not help her opinion of the puppy at all.) Anyway, Grand Jack and my mother were vacationing in California to celebrate their 53rd wedding anniversary when Grand Jack fell. A Good Samaritan helped him stand and get back to his room, as Grand Jack was unable to walk on his own. Fortunately, three long weeks later, Grand Jack is walking and driving on his own again. Charlee spent time with him this weekend. Yes, that meant she spent time with the puppy, too. (Maybe the puppy will get away next time.)