“Doctor, Doctor” – Charlee Visits a Therapist on #ThrowbackThursday

Doctor Doctor

I Don’t Know Why I Bark

Doctor: What makes you bark at your neighbor’s Chihuahuas?

Charlee: I don’t know. It must be a reflex.

Doctor: How does it make you feel to see the Chihuahuas?

Charlee: Irritated.

Doctor: Why do you think you feel irritated?

Charlee: Well, first of all, they wear bandanas all summer and silly kilt-type jackets all winter.

Doctor: Why does this irritate you?

Charlee: Maybe because they seem so prissy. And don’t forget, they start it all – the barking, I mean. They taunt me.

Doctor: How do you think the neighbors feel when the barking wakes them up?

Charlee: Mmm, probably not exactly thrilled.

Doctor: What is your goal in barking? What is it you feel you are accomplishing by barking?

Charlee: They need to know how silly they look wearing scarves. They are male Chihuahuas after all.

Doctor: Do you think perhaps you may be suppressing feelings of attraction?

Charlee: Boys wearing girls’ accessories? Absolutely not.

Doctor: Wasn’t your sister, Bandit, (may she rest in peace) part Chihuahua?

Charlee: She was. But my neighbors are nothing like Bandit. Bandit wore a denim visor.

Doctor: Have you been spayed?

Charlee: I am 10 years old. Is this question even relevant?

Doctor: How old were you when you were spayed?

Charlee: Is this a HIPAA violation? How much is my mom paying you? I think our time is up now. I gotta go potty.

Charlee’s #WellnessWednesday Tip

 

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Poultry-Flavored Toothpaste Is My Personal Favorite

Have you seen the new TV commercial where the dog with bad breath is ostracized by his friends? My tip for #WellnessWednesday is to remind everyone to brush and floss daily after meals and before bedtime. And, if you don’t like mint or bubble gum toothpaste, I highly recommend the poultry. Cheers to your health!

So, I Kinda Pottied at My Mom’s Work

 

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(I Just AWESOMED All Over the Place!)

It happened last July right outside her office door. It was a LONG way to the 115-degrees-Fahrenheit, pet relief area. (Remember, this is Arizona, and I had to go really badly.) So, I just squatted and pottied on the rug. Right? Oh, what a relief it was! And truly, according to my nose, other dogs had pottied there in the past. It was no big deal. I got scolded, of course. But, it was worth it.

“What Lovely Jowls You Have, My Dear!”

It’s #ThrowbackThursday! From Charlee’s memoirs …

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Does the rawhide accentuate my jowls? Does the rawhide accentuate my jowls?

So, one of my recent adventures in desert dog walking involved Charlee seeing a dog and yanking me off balance into a cactus. The result: cactus needles embedded in my right hand and the right side of my face. Seven weeks later (after an infection requiring over 10,000 mg of antibiotics to clear and the makings of an ugly scar on my face), I visited a Scottsdale plastic surgeon to weigh my options regarding the impending scar.

Plastic surgeon’s report: the wound is still healing. Nothing can really be done at the moment. Keep doing what I am doing.

No problem, I thought.

In the next breath and with a look approaching disdain, the physician changed the subject. “You really should consider doing something about your jowls, especially at your age,” she said.

“My what?” I asked, perplexed.

With pursed lips and a generously…

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