Mom knows I love The Home Depot. On Saturday mornings, they have extra treats for me. I get lots of attention because I am so wonderful. (That’s what my mom says anyway.) Oh, and did I mention their spacious carts? More room for those extra treats! Happy!
My recipe? Look like I am working out so Mom will let me eat the giant #chocolatechipcookie she made. (Hee hee hee!)
I hate it.
I posted this on Instagram today, but it’s worth repeating. “Mom, are you trying to fool me with that new low-carb food?” #ThrowbackThursday
How do these things happen? Those lizards are fast! Did you see it climb the wall? Maybe I should workout more. #CharleeChasesLizards
(My mom made me do this. I don’t like going to the veterinarian. I get anaphylactic.)
Doctor: What makes you bark at your neighbor’s Chihuahuas?
Charlee: I don’t know. It must be a reflex.
Doctor: How does it make you feel to see the Chihuahuas?
Doctor: Why do you think you feel irritated?
Charlee: Well, first of all, they wear bandanas all summer and silly kilt-type jackets all winter.
Doctor: Why does this irritate you?
Charlee: Maybe because they seem so prissy. And don’t forget, they start it all – the barking, I mean. They taunt me.
Doctor: How do you think the neighbors feel when the barking wakes them up?
Charlee: Mmm, probably not exactly thrilled.
Doctor: What is your goal in barking? What is it you feel you are accomplishing by barking?
Charlee: They need to know how silly they look wearing scarves. They are male Chihuahuas after all.
Doctor: Do you think perhaps you may be suppressing feelings of attraction?
Charlee: Boys wearing girls’ accessories? Absolutely not.
Doctor: Wasn’t your sister, Bandit, (may she rest in peace) part Chihuahua?
Charlee: She was. But my neighbors are nothing like Bandit. Bandit wore a denim visor.
Doctor: Have you been spayed?
Charlee: I am 10 years old. Is this question even relevant?
Doctor: How old were you when you were spayed?
Charlee: Is this a HIPAA violation? How much is my mom paying you? I think our time is up now. I gotta go potty.
Have you seen the new TV commercial where the dog with bad breath is ostracized by his friends? My tip for #WellnessWednesday is to remind everyone to brush and floss daily after meals and before bedtime. And, if you don’t like mint or bubble gum toothpaste, I highly recommend the poultry. Cheers to your health!